Sex & Relationships

Sex

Many (if not most) of us did not get a great sex education. As a result there is a lot of shame and stigma in asking for help when things aren’t working as you’d like. Sexual issues are so common but few of us feel willing or able to talk about sex. We may have taken on board sex-negative messages from our childhoods, experienced difficulties in our relationships, felt ashamed about our bodies or pressured by the messages from society about what ‘normal’ sex is- what type of sex we should have, how much, how often and with whom. Sexual issues may be biological, psychological, emotional or more usually, a mix of everything. They might be addressed quickly or may take time to unpick. What is clear is that we are all different and unique. Therapy can help us learn what is and isn’t pleasurable for us and our particular body (whatever our age, taste or background), overcome trauma, decontaminate shame, resolve short-term and long-standing difficulties, enhance satisfaction and communicate more effectively about sex.

relationships

We are often not taught how to create a truly loving relationship with ourselves, and many of us will experience struggles in our relationships with others. We can experience difficulty in finding, creating, maintaining or ending relationships. We may not be clear what it is we want in a partner or partners. Some of us find it hard to communicate, negotiate expectations, set boundaries or manage conflict. We may consciously or unconsciously be trying to heal wounds that stretch back decades. The list is endless. Individual therapy can help in making sense of all these things but certain issues in relationships may best be worked through with each member taking part. In this way, the client is the relationship. Together we can look for ways it can continue effectively with respect for all partners, or end with compassion and dignity.

LGBTQIA+ specific therapy

It is well documented that people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender often have higher levels of mental health difficulties than their heterosexual and cis-gender counterparts. This has been associated with experiences of homophobic or transphobic discrimination, inequality and bullying. Growing up in shame, feeling different, emotionally isolated and afraid can have a serious detrimental impact on an individual’s sense of self, how they see themselves in relation to other people, the world and their future. The effects of these experiences, as well as other factors such as age, ethnicity, religion and location, can reverberate over a lifetime. I offer a non-judgemental space to identify and work through diverse issues within this incredible minority group and endeavour to help LGBTQIA+ individuals live authentic and fulfilling lives.