Philippa Perry once gave me some really sound advice, it meant a great deal to me then and I hold it dear to this day.
I have a lot of admiration for Dr. Perry and look forward to her regular column in the Guardian every Sunday. She always seems to hit the right note and I appreciate her balance of warmth and wisdom. She is hugely experienced but manages to communicate human connectedness, commensurate not condescending.
Now, I don’t have children, but I loved this book and can see it being useful for all of us. We are all in relationships with each other, and dynamics are often impacted by how we were parented. There is no perfect parent. Children need love and safety (see Sue Gerhardt’s Why Love Matters) but we all have baggage from our childhoods and all parents will miss the mark sometimes.
I recommend also Dr. Perry’s ‘Couch Fiction’ an illustrated story about her work with a particular patient (and her own inner workings) illustrated by her daughter Flo, as well as ‘How to Stay Sane’. Actually everything I’ve seen/heard/read from her has given me something useful.